SAYONARA, good girl!

Living in New York City is hard.

Whenever something happened to me, I tend to blame myself. I am not good at fighting back.

Well, I don’t need to fight, but at least I need to protect myself. Especially in New York City, if you don’t say a word, it means nothing happened at all.

But little by little, New York made me stronger, and freer.

By the way, do you have two sides of you?

Sure, of course, I do.

I thought I was hiding my dark side from the world, from everyone.

Even though I wanted to release that dark side to be tough, I had been struggling to not being a good girl.

This spring, I decided to ask a counselor’s help. (sorry for English readers, since she does her counseling only in Japanese, I don’t put her name)

It turned out that I have a two year old baby girl “princess”, and a grown up lady “bitch” inside me.

“Princess” is my bright side. And I had been hiding her.

She is so powerful, she doesn’t care about others. She has no control or whatsoever on herself.

Innocent. Fierce. Strong.

A big crybaby. Terrible two.

It seems like I put her in the closet when I quit making my artwork ten years ago.

At that time, I was scared and had no idea about how to deal with her.

And I am still scared to let her come out.

However, I am too tired to keep her in the dark room. She had been crying too long.

So, this is it.

I am sorry in advance, if she punches in your face. (She will grow up, hopefully)

Now I know that I am beloved even if I am not a good girl.

This blog is her playground. I let her do whatever she wants to do.

SAYONARA, good girl. Hello, princess bitch!

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